Being a father has taught me a lot about being patient and open. When my son, Lundyn, first came to us at age 15, I was surprised to find that he didn’t bombard me with questions about sex. I wondered if he had any questions at all. Being someone who has always thought education is key in teaching and helping our young people excel, I set out to ask him questions to gauge how much about sex he actually knew. To my surprise he knew a lot more than I thought.

When we were going to pick up his glasses, he looked over at me and said, “Dad, can I tell you something?” I replied, “Son, you can tell me anything you would like”. He said, “Dad, I really don’t like Trojan condoms, I think LifeStyles are better.” I said, “Okay cool.”

He then said, “Dad I don’t like KY Jelly, I like Wet lubricant.” I then retorted, “I’m very glad you know what you like.”

Now all of you who are reading my columns, blogs, and other writings should know that in my house there is no excuse why anyone would not have an available condom. So as a good father I would of course give my son condoms. I do not preach abstinence to my son—that’s crazy. Teenagers are a different and dynamic element. They lead by emotions and love, and sometimes forget to think with their heads on their necks rather than the head between their legs. My son is a smart young man and I am so blessed that he was able to come into my life.

He is now in a relationship with a guy named Zack. My husband Phil and I both really like Zack. When Lundyn first started dating, I was the one with the shot gun at the door. I would interrogate, and divide and conquer. As a good father, I would warn my son about sexual decisions that he might make and he is smart enough to know his options.

As a parent of a teen I give these words of advice. Teenagers are like seeds. You have to water them, give them sunlight, and check on them. With this seed, you do now know what you are going to get even after you’ve tried your best. They can grow to be weeds, flowers or mighty trees. They are the ones who make their own paths because they are the captains of their own destiny.

Gay Life April 2015

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