Nicole Bettis

A lot of us have questions about relationships, coming out and family issues, but we just don’t feel comfortable talking to the people in our circle. Fears of being judged and mistreated are enough to stop any of us from seeking the advice we need. I know. I’ve been there. I didn’t have a space where I was free to ask whatever I wanted and receive great feedback, but you do. This article is dedicated to you. You can ask absolutely anything you want from “how to tell her you like her” to “where to tie the knot.” You can even write in anonymously. It’s totally up to you. There are no limits. In each issue you will receive advice from yours truly and maybe even realize that there is someone else out there in your exact situation. If I haven’t been there, I know someone who has. Coming from where I’m from, that means a lot.

My girlfriend just left me because I lost my job. She said I had a job when I got her, so I need a job to keep her. I’m so lost….
Lena, 26, female
Somewhere you’ve never heard of

Lena, right now, you need to focus on yourself. Let your ex find out the hard way that money doesn’t buy happiness or love, for that matter. I mean, honestly, the entire country is in a recession. What does she expect? Don’t dwell on how to get her back or trying to make her understand your situation; just keep a clear head and get back on your feet a little. Once you do that, she’ll be back. The thing is, you may not even want her…. Good luck, honey.

I’m a straight male and my sister wants me to donate my sperm to her girlfriend. I understand the whole wanting the baby to be a part of her thing, but I just can’t walk away from a child that’s a part of me. My sister doesn’t understand that. She wants me to sign my rights away as soon as the baby is born.

Toney, 36, Male
Baltimore, MD

Toney, I totally understand both view points. As far as how you feel, if you don want to “walk away”, be there, even as just uncle Toney. If that’s not an option, stand your ground. If your sister doesn’t want you around at all, maybe you two have some unresolved issues that you need to work out beforehand. Now, it seems like your sister just wants to make sure that nobody can take this baby away from her. So many women (doms especially) take care of kids that aren’t theirs, fall in love with them and for whatever reason, the girlfriend takes them away…that’s it! What’s even worse is that there is nothing she can do about it. Just sit down and talk, all of you. Tell me how it works out.

My girlfriend keeps cheating on me. Am I wrong for always taking her back? Will she ever stop?
Amber, 21, female
Cherry Hill, MD

Amber, simply put, people only do to you what you allow them to. If you keep forgiving and forgiving your girlfriend, she will think it’s perfectly okay to cheat on you. You have to respect yourself a little more than that. Love yourself enough to let her go. That way she won’t be cheating anymore. She’ll be single!

To My New Extended Family;

Take every day one day at a time…. Jaydee and I both love you ALL very much and will be here every step of the way.


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