Nicole Bettis

A lot of us have questions about relationships, coming out and family issues, but we just don’t feel comfortable talking to the people in our circle. Fears of being judged and mistreated are enough to stop any of us from seeking the advice we need. I know. I’ve been there. I didn’t have a space where I was free to ask whatever I wanted and receive great feedback, but you do. This article is dedicated to you. You can ask absolutely anything you want from “how to tell her you like her” to “where to tie the knot.” You can even write in anonymously. It’s totally up to you. There are no limits. In each issue you will receive advice from yours truly and maybe even realize that there is someone else out there in your exact situation. If I haven’t been there, I know someone who has. Coming from where I’m from, that means a lot.

What is the correct time-frame to be engaged? My girl says she wants to wait 3 yrs…?

Tammy, 25, female

Well, I don’t think that there is a correct time frame to be engaged, Tammy. Depending on the couple, it could be a few months or a few years. I do know that there are a lot of factors that can affect the length of the engagement, including finances, family issues and living arrangement, just to name a few. So don’t be impatient with her decision; If you’re going to be with her forever any way, what’s a few years?

My mate and I have wanted to adopt kids for about 4 years now, but every time we get close to starting the process, I back out. Nikki, be honest. Do you think the system will allow us to be parents?

Mike, 35, male

Mike, you and I both know that “the system” doesn’t allow us to do anything. You have to make your own dreams come true. If you both want to be parents and are stable (financially), go for it! After all, superman never knew he could fly until he jumped….

Nikki, are there any safe clubs left to party at in Baltimore? Every time I turn on the news, there is a shooting at one of them!

Shawna, 21, female

Honestly, Shawna, I’m sure there are but you will NEVER catch me in any of them. There have been enough innocent bystanders shot and killed to make me retire from the club scene all together. If I were you, I would just invest in a nice sound system for the house and party with only people you know!

My boyfriend keeps getting into fights with lesbos and he gets mad when I don’t help him out. I thought that men (no matter their orientation) are not supposed to hit women. How can I make him understand?

-Donate, 29, male

I don’t think it’s your job to make him understand. Just continue not to support him in the midst of his bad decisions. Some people just have to learn the hard way (luckily you’re not one of them). Hopefully he gets the picture before the police or his inmates have to give him a physical demonstration.

For the victims shot on Friday, March 6,

We are praying for you every single day. You mean SO much to SO many…

We love you,

Nicole & Jaydee

If anyone has any information about the Coconuts shooting PLEASE contact Baltimore City Police or write in anonymously to Nikki@baltimoregaylife.com.

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