Nicole Bettis

A lot of us have questions about relationships, coming out and family issues, but we just don’t feel comfortable talking to the people in our circle. Fears of being judged and mistreated are enough to stop any of us from seeking the advice we need. I know. I’ve been there. I didn’t have a space where I was free to ask whatever I wanted and receive great feedback, but you do. This article is dedicated to you. You can ask absolutely anything you want from “how to tell her you like her” to “where to tie the knot.” You can even write in anonymously. It’s totally up to you. There are no limits. In each issue you will receive advice from yours truly and maybe even realize that there is someone else out there in your exact situation. If I haven’t been there, I know someone who has. Coming from where I’m from, that means a lot.

I recently met this really nice woman at a local bar. She’s sexy, funny, and smart. The thing is, I’m skeptical about “dating” people I meet in bars because of my past experiences. Should I just, dismiss this developing relationship or should I see if things turn out differently this time around?

Megan, 27, female
Bowie, MD

Well, Megan, we all have preconceived notions based on our past experience—both good and bad. You have to decide if you’re willing to push those notions onto her. You said it yourself: She’s sexy, funny and smart. Sounds like a good woman to me. If you decide to stop seeing her, let it be for something she does, not because of past ”stuff” that you can’t let go of. So, you met her in a bar, that doesn’t make her a bad person. After all, you were at that same bar.

I don’t usually ask for advice but, I’m desperate. I’m young, hot, smart and I always dress to impress. Why can’t I find a decent date, someone who cares about his appearance just as much as I do mine?”

Anonymous 23, male
Washington, DC

I think there could be two reasons for your issue: (1) Maybe you’re not looking in the right places. Check out your surroundings. Are they as “high class as you are? If not, maybe you should find some new places to spend your time. (2) Maybe you’re just a tad TOO Critical. Just because a guy doesn’t always dress to impress, doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about his appearance as much as you do. He may be smart enough to realize that he looks just as good in sweats and a t-shirt. By the way, who is it that you’re dressing to impress? From the looks of things, it’s not really working, is it?

I have been in the closet for seven years. I want to tell my family who I really am, but I’m afraid they won’t accept me….

Amber, 32, female
Spring Grove, PA

It is a scary situation, but you have to deal with your fears dead on or you will wind up running from them forever. The truth is, some of your family and friends may not accept the “real” you, but if that’s the case, they’re only accepting you for who they think you are. You owe it to yourself to be loved and accepted for YOU. Tell them, but be prepared for a change….

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