Nicole Bettis

A lot of us have questions about relationships, coming out and family issues, but we just don’t feel comfortable talking to the people in our circle. Fears of being judged and mistreated are enough to stop any of us from seeking the advice we need. I know. I’ve been there. I didn’t have a space where I was free to ask whatever I wanted and receive great feedback, but you do. This article is dedicated to you. You can ask absolutely anything you want from “how to tell her you like her” to “where to tie the knot.” You can even write in anonymously. It’s totally up to you. There are no limits. In each issue you will receive advice from yours truly and maybe even realize that there is someone else out there in your exact situation. If I haven’t been there, I know someone who has. Coming from where I’m from, that means a lot.

Nikki it seems like every person at my high school is a homophobe. I get called like a hundred different dikes a day. I cant take it anymore, I think I’m going to transfer.

Tammy, 17, female

Tammy, you have to realize that some people are going to criticize others no matter what—gay, straight, light, dark, Jewish, Christian, whatever. The thing is, you can’t let the ignorance of these people intimidate you. Don’t start running away from you problems. It’s a hard habit to break. Be strong. Just remember, the people who are harassing you are trying desperately to cover up their own issues. I learned a long time ago that it’s not what people call you, it’s what you answer to that matters.

My birthday is in a week and I’m thinking about getting a little work done, you know a little nip here, a tuck there. The thing is, I’m a little nervous, I don’t think I really need it yet, but I figured I’d get it done before I was too ugly to get a date, you know?

Nick, 39, male

No, Nick, I don’t know. I think you, as well as so many of us (homos) are obsessed with looking young. We have this notion that to age is to be ugly and we are so far gone that we are trying to fix “problems” before they even exist. You said it yourself: You don’t think you need it yet.

I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but “tummy tucks” don’t count as preventive care. Don’t give into the false perception that age is equivalent to unattractiveness. Show people something different. Skip the nips. Have a wonderful birthday.

My new boo is… different. He will only forgive me if I buy him something. I don’t mind, but it seems like he is mad at me every other day. I would hate to think he’s using me, but the thought has crossed my mind once or twice.

Anonymous, 19, male

Well sweetie, the next time the thought crosses your mind, don’t dismiss it so easily. This boo is new right? So right now, he is just testing you to see what he can get away with. People only do, what you allow them to, and you are allowing him to use you; actually, you are helping him. But, since you were unsure of what he was doing up until this point, I don’t totally blame you. I think you should put away your wallet, and don’t pull it back out again until you are paying for a one-way ticket to ship “boo” back to where he came from.

My best friend just told me that she’s a lesbian. I don’t have a problem with that, but she also told me that she wants me as her partner! I don’t want to hurt her, but I’m not gay, not even curious.

Jennifer, 31, female

Jennifer, I think you should try sleeping with her once, just to see if you like it. No, I’m kidding, just to lighten the mood. Seriously, you should just tell her the truth. Don’t sugar coat it, hoping not to hurt her feelings. Fact is, she’ll be hurt that you’re not interested no matter how you tell her. Don’t let this discourage you. She’ll get over it, and if she is your friend, she will respect your honesty. Be firm and after a little time you two should be back to normal. Good Luck!

Thought of the week:

“Hurt people, hurt people”

Stop the cycle, give away a smile today!!

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